Cold, Creamy Bananas

I’m sure that, being the hip, progressive internet readers you are, you’ve already heard about the magnificent, life-chaning ONE INGREDIENT ICE CREAM that’s totally vegan, non-GMO, gluten-free, nonfat, free-range, fair trade, PaleOMG! In case you haven’t, here’s the secret: it’s bananas. That’s it! No ice, no cream, just bananas. You slice up a banana, lay your slices on a plate (save yourself some grody clean-up and slip some wax paper between the slices and the plate), pop them in the freezer for a little while, then swirl them around in a food processor until they transform into cold, creamy, bananas. It’s a fun technique if you’re on a diet and want something that vaguely resembles something you passionately love but can’t have. The possibilities of stuff to add to make your cold, creamy bananas more appealing are vast, but I just made some really good cold, creamy bananas last night and I’m here to tell you what I put in mine.


  • 1 banana, peeled and thinly sliced, frozen and partially thawed
  • 1 few each of frozen peach chunks, mango chunks & raspberries
  • 1 heaping Tbsp unsweetened coconut


Blend everything in a food processor, scoop some into a bowl (I find one banana makes enough for about 2+ servings)  and sprinkle with coconut. Bask in self-righteousness for pulling off a snack that is healthy, tastes great, and vaguely resembles something you passionately love but can’t have.


You’ll want to let everything thaw for a few minutes before processing, or else it will look like this. However, when it looks like this, it tastes a lot like those fantastic Cap’n Crunch bars I would have traded half of my My Little Pony collection for at one point in my life. I wouldn’t have any real criticism for you if you stopped blending at this point.


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